These Advice given by My Dad That Rescued Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was just in survival mode for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the challenges of fatherhood.

However the truth quickly proved to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Serious health problems around the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her main carer in addition to looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every nappy change… every walk. The job of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his parent, on a public seat, that led him to understand he needed help.

The direct words "You're not in a good place. You must get support. How can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His story is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more accustomed to addressing the stress on moms and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers go through.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan thinks his difficulties are part of a broader failure to open up between men, who often internalise harmful ideas of masculinity.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a display of being weak to request help. I didn't do that soon enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health before and after childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not justified to be asking for help" - most notably ahead of a new mother and infant - but she emphasises their mental well-being is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad provided him with the chance to take a respite - going on a few days overseas, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he had to make a change to pay attention to his and his partner's feelings in addition to the logistical chores of taking care of a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has transformed how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will help his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen did not have reliable male guidance. Despite having an "wonderful" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain resulted in his father had difficulty managing and was "coming and going" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "terrible actions" when younger to change how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You find your way to substances that are harmful," he explains. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a New Father

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling swamped, speak to a family member, your partner or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the things that made you feel like yourself before becoming a parent. It could be going for a run, socialising or gaming.
• Pay attention to the body - eating well, staying active and where possible, resting, all contribute in how your emotional health is doing.
• Connect with other new dads - sharing their journeys, the messy ones, and also the positive moments, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Know that requesting help does not mean you've failed - taking care of yourself is the optimal method you can look after your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for years.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the security and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son is about to have a tantrum, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the emotions safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their issues, changed how they talk, and figured out how to control themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… processing things and managing things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I expressed, sometimes I feel like my role is to teach and advise you what to do, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding as much as you are on this path."